A Farewell Without a Word
by RobinxRaven writer
Summary: They say hindsight is 20/20. Robin was going to learn the truth of that phrase the hard way, it seemed.


Robin and Cyborg walked into the common room, carrying a load of groceries in their hands. "Hey, come help us put this stuff away!" Robin called out, and a moment later Beastboy jumped off the couch. Starfire flew into the common room, probably just coming from her room after playing with Silky. Putting all the sacks on the counter, Robin started putting away all the various items he and Cyborg had purchased when they'd gone shopping earlier that day. It didn't take long.

"Hey, what's this for?" Beastboy asked.

Robin closed the refrigerator and turned to see what he was looking at. He was holding a small square package, and Robin plucked it from his hands. "They're sewing needles." Robin explained. "I remember Raven said she kept losing them and was running low on them last week." He started walking to the exit, but Starfire called out to him.

"Robin, where are you going?" Her voice caused him to turn around, and he gave a small smile.

"To give them to her, of course. I'll be right back!" Turning back around and heading to the door, Robin walked down the hall to Raven's room. When he arrived at her door, he knocked twice and called out to her. "Raven? You in there?"

There wasn't an answer.

Robin frowned. Usually she would answer the door after a moment. He knocked again, calling out a second time. "Raaaaven? I got something for you!" He looked down at the item in his hands, then back to the door. "You said you need sewing needles, so I got some when Cyborg and I were at the store." He said.

Still, there was no answer.

" _Maybe she's meditating."_ Robin thought to himself. _"No… usually she tells everyone to buzz off when she's meditating."_ He rubbed the back of his neck. _"She's probably sleeping. That explains why she's not answering._ " Looking back down at the needles, Robin decided to place them on her desk. _"I know she doesn't like it when people go into her room, but…_ " He opened the door, and took two steps inside before he realized something was wrong.

Everything was gone. The walls looked as bare as they had been when the tower had first been set up. All her books, posters, the small decorations and souvenirs she'd acquired from back alley shops and visits to odd and exotic locations, everything was missing. The bookcases stood empty and Robin was willing to bet that if he opened her desk drawers and closet everything would be gone from there, too.

He stood in utter shock as he look around the empty room, unsure if maybe he'd walked into an empty guest room by accident. No, there was no mistaking that this was, in fact, Raven's room. Robin could still smell the incense and candles she kept in here, and the walls were still her favourite shade of blue. Dropping the sewing needles, Robin walked inside, looking for signs of a struggle. There didn't seem to be evidence of a fight, but something on the bed by her pillows caught his attention.

Her communicator was there. There was some folded paper too, as well as a framed photo. Picking up the communicator first, Robin held up his own and confirmed that the one left here was indeed Raven's. He picked up the photo, recognizing it from a long time ago.

" _What's the harm in a photo?" He had asked. He was holding up a camera, a gift from some store they'd saved a few weeks back._

" _What's the point in it?" Raven countered, not looking up from her book._

 _Robin paused for a moment. Then, with a grin on his face he said, "It'll make for a good memory."_

 _Raven looked up from her book, but didn't say anything. He grinned wider, and she sighed, putting her bookmark in between the pages and closing the novel. "Fine. Make it quick."_

 _Robin sat beside her, putting up his hand behind her head and holding up his first two fingers to give her bunny ears. "Cheese!"_

It was one of the few times Raven had allowed her photo to be taken, and one of the much rarer times she smiled. Granted, it might not have looked like she was smiling in the photo, but Robin could recognize that twinkle in her eyes as a sign of happiness, as well as the small upward curve of her lips in the picture. Not to mention that she'd kept _and_ framed the photo.

Finally, Robin turned to the folded over papers. They were smaller than notebook paper, and of a different texture. It seemed as though they'd been ripped out of a notebook or a diary, but to Robin's knowledge Raven didn't have a diary. Looking over them, Robin saw that his name was at the top of the first page. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, he began reading:

 _Robin,_

 _I'm sorry things have to end like this, but it's the easiest way. I don't want to confuse you, so I'll make it plain and simple._

 _I love you._

 _When I first came to Earth, I was lost, alone, and had no idea what to do or where to go. My mother was dead, my home was destroyed, and my father had cursed me with a terrible prophecy. I was homeless, wandering around Jump City with no reason to live while I counted the days I had left._

 _Then I met you._

 _Because of you, I found a home. I found friends. I found a reason to fight back against my father's prophecy, a reason to be grateful to wake up in the morning and just be alive. I don't know when I fell for you, but I just know that these feelings I had for you were so strong I was barely able to keep my powers from blowing up anything nearby whenever you walked into the room._

 _You were always there for me, keeping Beastboy and Starfire away when I was trying to meditate and staying up late to make sure I came home from patrol. I knew I could talk to you about anything, and that I could trust you over anyone else on the team to keep my secrets._

 _The bond between us? I cherished it. I was so, so happy to have that connection to you, something only the two of shared. That bond was something I realized I never wanted to have with anyone else. It was something only you could give me, even if it was forged in trying circumstances. But the fact that you didn't mind it, and didn't mind that I had been inside your mind made me happy._

 _And for a while, things were good. We'd stopped Trigon. We'd stopped the Brotherhood of Evil. Things were peaceful. I was happy. I was content._

 _Then we went to Tokyo last year, and everything changed. It was supposed to be a simple mission, finding out why a supervillain from another country was targeting us. I had no idea things would turn out the way they did._

 _I tried to accept it. I tried to tell myself that this was just the way things were. After all, we were never explicitly together. But we had a connection. We had something special. And then you just… threw it away to be with her. But no matter what I did, I couldn't stop myself from loving you. I couldn't bring myself to hate you either, or Starfire. That would just be pathetic of me._

 _I found myself thinking recently, "I wish things would just go back to the way they were, before Tokyo." But everyday I see you two together, and I realize more and more that things will never be the same._

 _That's why I'm leaving. I'm leaving like this because I can't face you anymore._

 _It hurts to see you with Starfire. It hurts to be so close to you, all the while knowing I can never be as close to you as she is. I hurt because I remember all the moments we shared, in the quiet comfort of the night or the solitude away from teammates and responsibilities, when I could let my guard down and let you in._

 _I don't know which would hurt more: If you told me to go, or asked me to stay. I have to make this decision for myself. Maybe one day, I can forget that I loved you and we can be friends again, the way things used to be._

 _Until then,_

 _Raven_

Robin finished reading, lowering his head and staring off into nothing while his mind tried to wrap around what he'd just read.

Raven… loved him. She had for a long time. He looked over the letter again, noticing the places where the ink was darker, like she'd been pressing the pen hard into the paper or the places that were barely legible because of how hard her hand was shaking. There were a few places with dark splotches, as though water had fallen onto the paper.

How long had she been in love with him, while he stood obliviously beside her? He looked at the picture again, and opened the back of it. Written onto the back were the words, "Me and Robin". Closing the frame, he felt his eyes start to water as the realization that Raven had left hit him like a truck.

The empty room seemed to bear down on him from all sides, a reminder of what had been left behind. He stood and stuck the letter into a spare utility compartment, sprinting out of the room and down to the garage where his motorcycle was. He activated the communicator built into his helmet and told the others, "Raven's missing! Spread out over Jump, search the skies, go to the airport or bus terminal, go to her favourite hangouts, just look for her!"

The Titans tried asking him what was going on, but he didn't respond. The only thing he cared about was finding Raven. It was cold winter's day, but he didn't feel the sting of the cold as he sped the through the streets of the city. His body was numb, filled with a fear he hadn't felt since the day Trigon had come through and Robin thought she was gone.

He wasn't going to lose her again.


End file.
